Hamster Wheels, A New Direction, and Some Crazy Love

Here's the thing about blogging. I have an idea and am not in front of a computer, and then when I am in front of a computer, my mind seems blank (hence, no entry since September. There are a lot of things that have happened in my life since the last entry and I am very excited to share it with you, so here goes nothin'...

In September, there a mass lay off at work. I was fortunate enough to not lose my job, but work was SO different after it happened. Management seemed to continue making poor decisions and morale was unbelievably low. I had been thinking of getting a different job for a while, but kept on keepin' on instead. Most of my co-workers I had become good friends with were no longer there and it just wasn't a good situation. I made a list of pros and cons of quitting. When I was done, there were multiple things listed under pros (no more working late nights, become able to participate in a small group from church, put more energy into outreach, etc.) In the cons, there was only one con to quitting with no back up plan (no MONEY). I knew in my heart that I wasn't fulfilling God's calling on my life, but I felt stuck. Life was passing me by. I felt like a hamster on a wheel. I decided that fellowship with believers and following my dreams was what I needed instead of continuing this day to day routine. I quit and was able to join a small group which has been a huge blessing and from a series of conversations with my parents about next steps, developed a plan.

I stopped my current graduate program after the quarter was over because logistically, it was not what I needed to be doing. Instead, I am going back to Belmont to take some undergrad biology courses in hopes of beginning the masters of education program. I want to be a teacher in a Christian school. I want to be "in the trenches" with teens. I have started assistant coaching a girls basketball team for a local Christian school and that has been so much fun. That would be my change of direction...

In small group, we are reading a book by Francis Chan called "Crazy Love". It has been a very convicting read for me. I have been made painfully aware of two things lately- I am selfish and prideful. I hate these character traits and at the same time, I find them difficult to flee from. My life is not about me. It's about the One who created me. I want to live a life of purpose. I want to leave this world a little better than before I got here. I can't do that by serving myself. I want to pour into the lives of others in order that He may be glorified. There is SO much JOY that comes from giving of yourself out of the love of Christ. I see so many people around me who are feeling the same way and taking action. I am so excited about what God is doing in my friends and in His church! I have added links so you can read about what is going on in the lives of those around me. I hope you will be blessed by them. It is crazy that Christ loves me despite my many shortcomings. I want to have a genuine love for Christ that is evident in how I love His other children and in how I serve those who are unable to adequately provide for themselves. I invite you to come on this journey with me. No amount of money can match the pure joy that comes when we give ourselves away for Christ! I will leave you with a quote from Crazy Love that I really enjoyed:

"...that by surrendering yourself totally to God's purposes [His calling on your life], He will bring you the most pleasure [joy] in this life and the next."

Also, check out the song Power of Your Name by Lincoln Brewster