Grace Walks In...

Craig Phillips - When Grace Walks In

You're standing with your list of regrets that you can't get past yourself
You wish so bad that you could make the mark
But your dreams are stuck on a shelf
And all you want to do is turn back time
And redeem the days you lost
But shame keeps calling out your name
The chains refuse to fall

CHORUS:
But it's not over, it's not over
This is the moment that grace walks in
With arms wide open, arms wide open
To tell you this is not the end
When doubt is strong and your will is weak to even believe again
That's when grace, that's when grace walks in

You once believed that you could change the world
With a fire deep in your soul
Your faith was strong and the call was clear
You were sure you could make a new road
Like so many, the flame grew dark
And your confidence hit the wall
There always seems to be a lot of big questions
But the answers seem so small

CHORUS

Just in the nick of time
Right there to save our lives
Grace is greater
Grace is greater




Above, you will see the lyrics of a song that I really enjoy. I think the lyrics are very powerful and are pretty relevant in the journey I have been on these past few years...

When I applied for college, I had NO clue what I was in for. I really wanted to do youth ministry with the long-term vision of running a camp. However, I also wanted to make money and was pretty sure I wouldn't if I went after that degree. Biology and A & P were my favorite subjects in high school and the world of medicine fascinated me. Naturally, I decided to pursue a degree in nursing. I had no clue it was a separate program and that there was a licensing exam after I graduated. A lot of people said they couldn't see me being a nurse and at times, I think that early on, some of my professors weren't sure I'd make it through the program. It was then that I knew I had to do it and be successful...to prove to others and to myself that I was capable. I ended up making it into the nursing honor society and graduated cum laude. I even passed the NCLEX on the first try. Nursing school taught me a lot about myself and about life. It was a good experience and I got to cross paths with a lot of really incredible people, some of whom will be long-time friends.

Though I was (I've been told) a good nurse, I did not enjoy it. My heart was with young people. I wanted to work with youth, but now I was too prideful to change careers. I was embarrassed and afraid of that I would lose friends. I finally came to the realization that those who cared about me would support me following my dreams and those who didn't, well, they can think what they want. Though there were hard times, I am so very thankful for the experience I had as a bedside nurse. I was able to experience raw humanity. To be there for people during some of the most vulnerable times in there life and to walk through that with them. It certainly taught me a lot and I met a lot of amazing people along the way who are still great friends.

That brings me to more recently. I have been working in a health coaching company while I begin my Masters of Youth Ministry Leadership. I am finally taking the first step of faith and following what I feel is my calling in life. Young people have such a negative stereotype associated with them. In turn, they struggle with who they are and what their value is. I wish people focused more on how much young people have to offer and to contribute to society if only they were given a fair chance and some sound guidance. I want to walk with young people on their journey and be someone who has made mistakes, learned from mistakes, and been healed by God's amazing grace. I want this imperfect person that I am to do my best to help young people know the love of Christ. I was blessed to have people walk alongside me during those difficult years and I want to be able to give back.

I have learned so much this quarter about ministry, missions, the life of the poor, and the shortcomings of those who have power in society. Stay tuned for more and please, pray for the youth in your community. You never know how many amazing things God can do through them.

Another Chapter in the Story of Life

Photo courtesy of Collin Geldmeier

I have written before about how I came up with the title of this blog and how every one of our individual stories plays a special role in God's story. I would like to share a little of my story with you. The reason I am choosing to share now is because I am getting baptized next month and am very excited about it. I have been wanting to do this for a long time, but for a variety of reasons, it hasn't happened yet. The reason I am so excited is because I feel like especially the last few years, I have not been a good representation of a person in a relationship with Christ and I am ready for that to change. I want people to see and hear Jesus in my actions and my words. I am looking forward to the extra accountability that comes with being baptized and making that public declaration of my faith. I want it to mark a turning point in my life and a step further in spiritual maturity and my own walk with Jesus. That being said, let me tell ya a short story...

Having grown up in a Christian home, I told myself and others that I was a Christian pretty much my whole life. I could memorize verses like a champ and flip to them in the Bible at lightning speed. I could tell you books of the Bible in order and summarize all the different stories in the Bible. However, all that aside, I didn't really get it. I thought I did, but I didn't. I had heard stories about what happens to people who aren't "saved" and I didn't want that to be me, so I prayed "the" prayer just about every chance I had. As the years went on, I had many doubts about my faith and about how genuine it was. Something still just felt like it was missing, but I would try to convince myself otherwise...

Over the years, life happened, and like many sophomores in high school, I felt lost and completely spent (emotionally, spiritually). February of my sophomore year, a speaker came to speak for our spiritual emphasis week. I had listened to him in chapel, and one day, I was listening to him speak about the RELATIONSHIP aspect of Christ and about how much love God has for us and how much He cares for us as individuals....my life, your life....the more the speaker talked, the faster my heart raced. It finally made sense. I finally understood what I had been missing. It was that day that I wholeheartedly accepted the gift of salvation, and I have not doubted my faith ever since...

About a month later, I went on a choir trip to Barbados. Throughout the week, we did our own daily quiet times, then met with small groups, and met with large group at night. Through a series of different things that happened that week, God really broke me. I never have been one to cry easily, and I had a total melt down. I felt like God really used that time to change me for the better, and to mold me into more of His likeness. It was a major turning point in my new walk with Christ and was probably one of the most difficult, yet most rewarding moments I've had. God has blessed me abundantly, and His grace is SO amazing that it's hard to describe, and I want to live my life in a way that glorifies Him and who He is in my life. Thanks for listening, and may you find joy in your own journey!

A Challenge

Today in church, we sang a song called "Center". I have heard the song before, but hadn't paid much attention to the lyrics. The lyrics to this song are pretty simple, but the message they convey is such an incredible challenge. If everyone made this their prayer and truly tried to live it out, I think this world would be such a different place. It is easy to claim that Christ is at the center of our lives, but if people were to ask our families, friends, and co-workers, would they testify to that based on our actions? I know many days my words and actions don't support that claim, unfortunately. It was a challenge to me today to really make a conscious effort to live life with Christ at the center, and I welcome anyone to take on this challenge with me. I've included a link to a video of the song for those who want to hear it. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuX4bSHfDvs

The 5 Year Plan...or lack thereof

Happy 2009, everybody!! I know it's about a month late, but better than never, right? I have been meaning to update this for a few weeks now, but I didn't know how to piece it all together...I did in fact get accepted into the online Masters program for youth ministry through Huntington University. I was scheduled to start in December, but I started to have doubts about whether or not this was the right time in my life for taking on this new challenge. I was right. I called and cancelled enrollment, and they were very accomadating and said maybe I could start up some semester later on...and I think that at some point, that really is something I would like to consider.



I had just reached a point where I felt like everything was coming off the tracks. I was unhappy with my job, stressed out, etc. etc. I knew I had to do something different or else I would just continue to be a thoroughly unpleasant person to be around :) So I quit my job with the support of my parents and no back up plan other than keep working 2 nights a month. I searched tirelessly for jobs, but I really wanted out of the hospital setting, so that quickly narrowed my options. I had a couple interviews here and there, but none were really jobs I was interested in. My personal favorite part of an interview (for a job i knew when i got there i didn't want), was when the person asked me where I saw myself in five years. I sat there for a second, looked at her and told her the truth....I don't really know. I don't really make plans like that because five years ago, I would never have thought I'd be where I am now. I'm pretty sure that caught her off guard. :)



This is the really fun part...I did finally get a job AND I think I'm going to really like it!!! It's for a health coaching company out of Franklin. I didn't think so when I started, but after two weeks of training, I think this is going to be a sort of foundation for change. I felt like I had hit a brick wall, but now I'm excited about the possibilities that lie ahead. I want to eat better, I want to exercise...not because I have to or feel forced to, but because the environment I'm working in puts that desire in me. They encourage wellness in every aspect of your life and I love that. It's different walking into work and people are smiling, they don't look like they want to jump off a cliff...it's so different and so nice. I could elaborate on all these points, but I will stop for now, because I'm going to need some material for later entries.



Everybody needs a general life plan of some sort, but I wouldn't be too detailed with it. God's got a sense of humor, and that means a lot of our plans change. So if you don't know where you'll be in five years or what you'll be doing, that's OK, just let go, have some faith, and see where God has you land...you may just like it! Happy travels!